My "aha" moment was realizing how much easier it was to move in bottom mount or bottom side control when I am not flat on my back. 

This year has been a year of tremendous change for me. My one constant has been bjj and working out. It's nice to have a constructive outlet when you're angry and upset so you can show up better for the people in your life. I am most impacted by the positivity of my training partners and the way that we take care of each other. It gives me hope that maybe just maybe this human experience can be a shared connection in which the trust we have in one another is something we hold sacred. Unlike the drive to the academy that makes me lose faith in humanity lol. I know that at least on the mats, we are in this together. 

A lesson I am learning is to not lose sight of opportunities in anticipation of things going wrong. When I get mounted on the mats, I sometimes have difficulty escaping because I am overly concerned with getting submitted and it distracts from my ability to find an escape. I think I have the same difficulty with life at times, but it is a helpful lesson for me to challenge myself to take calculated risks instead of holding back and anticipating threats when there are none. 

Something I struggled with at first was feeling the confidence to go for a submission. I am much more comfortable being on the defensive. Slowly, I am building my confidence in trying a submission even though it may not work. I am learning to enjoy that process of trial and error by sometimes treating sparring as a low stakes game to try new things!

I have no regrets starting now because I might've never left California if I started there. I would never know the beauty of a Chicago dog (I can live without deep dish, yuck). 

I would probably say around 16, which is when I chickened-out trying a class for the first time. 😂 Though, it is very heartening to see people of all ages deciding to make that first step even if it is later than they intended. Like that one quote: "For better than never is late; never to succeed would be too long a period". 

I would say at this point in my learning journey, drilling has been very helpful. While I enjoy sparring, I sometimes run into the issue where I feel ill-prepared to execute a technique and end up missing my opportunity. Having chances to drill in class helps me feel a bit more confident in trying new things I've learned when sparring. 

Exciting, Stinky, Fun!

I'm trying to stop leaving my elbows exposed and allowing myself to get flattened out when I end up on bottom. 

I really try to unless I am learning something for the first time and am already very confused.